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Didactic
CEU TRAINING: Restoring the Pleasure
DATE: 08/17/2022
TIME: 11:00-1:00 PM CT
OUTSIDE STUDY: 2 Hours (reading & video)
DIDACTIC PRESENTATION: 2 Hours
EDUCATOR: Lacey Wallace LPC #2011025361 MO
Source: Restoring the Pleasure
Description: This didactic breaks up Restoring the Pleasure protocol into 3 phases and identifies the goals of each phase. We will also answer frequently asked questions that come up during the onset of protocol.
If you have ever entered into a sex therapy session with thoughts like…”Holy crap what the hell am I doing?” or “They are going to know I am a fraud!!” or the best one being “JESUS come now!” you are not alone!!! Sex therapy is not the most difficult presenting issue, but due to most of our faith based purity culture raising we are battling for our own truth as we help our clients find healing. The last sex therapy didactic focused on understanding how to properly assess and diagnose the different presenting issues. This didactic will hopefully help you to move into treatment without feeling so fearful. As you all know my teaching style is more of an ask me a question or bring me a case, and less here is a beautiful document outlining the way. I am learning to accept my limitations and lean into my strengths!! That being said I will outline a few frequently asked questions and also dive a bit more into helping you understand the phases of Restoring the Pleasure and how to communicate this protocol with competency even if you have never moved through it to completion. One of the most valuable pieces of advice that I can give you is to show up with confidence. You have direct access to those of us that have navigated through this protocol to completion and have witnessed sexual healing with our clients. In my early days of sex therapy I dove in with confidence because I knew that Josh would make himself available to me when I was stuck, freaked out, or felt completely in over my head. I hope you all feel that level of comfort in our seasoned sex therapists!! And before you know it YOU will be one of those seasoned sex therapists offering your words of wisdom to the next generation!!
Frequently Asked Questions
What do I do when the couple pushes back about abstinence?
Abstinence is a pivotal part of tx. Crating corrective experiences within the assignments without undoing those experiences by continuing having the same kind of sex that landed them in our office or on our screen. Hold to your guns. Usually by the end of the first phase couples are experiencing a new level of intimacy that they had missed or never had and will be grateful for your boldness with them!
How do I provide reassurance to a couple who find the first few assignments elementary?
Validating their concerns while at the same time sharing all the goals of phase one. I often compare the first phase of RTP to the first trimester of pregnancy. The first trimester of pregnancy is where so many of the major things happen!! At the end of the first trimester you can hold a perfectly formed baby in the palm of your hand! The next two trimesters are all about mechanics and growth. I realize this is a gross oversimplification of pregnancy, but it works! 🙂 Helping our couples understand that this first phase offers them an opportunity to focus on some of the most important parts of intimacy!!
What to do when couple hits a barrier during one of the assignments?
I will always talk with my couples about modifying assignments they find themselves avoiding. I will always celebrate a modification! This shows me that a couple is committed to the process while also showing me that they are beginning to find their confidence in boundaries! We will then be able to process through the block and slowly walk through the assignment until they can complete it as written.
What do I tell couples when they ask how long this is going to take?
I usually tell couples that I have never had anyone finish the protocol in less than 4 months, but the majority of couples take the better part of a year or more. Letting them know that you are here to help them find their way to really amazing sex for the rest of their lives helps as does the trusting relationship that you will form with them.
When do I address concerns about arousal?
I usually do not begin addressing arousal concerns until the end of the 2nd phase. At this time I would begin anorgasmia or ED protocol.
When in the protocol do we begin addressing pain?
Again I would begin addressing usually toward the end of the 2nd phase. It is so good to relieve the pressure that a wife has of feeling broken if there is pain or anorgasmia. The time during the beginning of the protocol allows for intimacy to grow without her feeling pressure. Ideally the client would have access to a pelvic floor specialist that can handle the physical component of the disorder. There is a brief description of dilator protocol in RTP.
Restoring the Pleasure in Phases
• Phase 1
Assignments 1-10
Goals:
prioritizing time (frequency & amount of time spent)
equalizing initiation
growing trust in communication
gaining confidence in being naked together
an understanding of the importance of creating a space that is pleasing to all the senses
decreasing anxiety of touching and being touched
learning to set and trust boundaries
increasing communication about intimacy (history, wounds, expectations)
• Phase 2
Assignments 11-23
Goals:
identifying body shame or disgust
education of their own body and then teaching and learning from their spouse
understanding their arousal cycle
Putting their new confident communication and comfort with nakedness into action
Addressing basics in kissing
Begin addressing pain
• Phase 3
Assignments 24-31
Goals:
reintroducing arousal focus without pressure
celebrating the progress
TAKE IT SLOW
lots of prep for life after protocol
Here is a video of a consultation that I did with Jessica processing through some of what is addressed above.
https://mycounselor.box.com/s/feg0dy65i58mqhcgsu04ncol1dqmf8b5
I cannot wait to jump into all of your questions on Wednesday!!