Infidelity: Couple Stabilization
Time: 11:00 am-1:00 pm CT
Outside Study: 1.5 hours
Didactic Presentation: 2 hours
Educator: Danielle Schaefer
Description: For this week’s didactic, we will be focusing on the stabilization stage of infidelity work. We are focusing on how to have intentional conversations with couples that focus on doing no more harm to the relationship. We are helping couples navigate activities of daily life together following disclosure. Additionally, we will be working to help couples create a transparency plan and begin conversations about establishing sobriety if an addiction is present. Completing these tasks will help the couple establish enough safety for the therapist to move into individual work with the injured and the participating spouse and to enter Stage 1 EFT work with the couple.
Areas of focus:
– how to navigate daily life in the midst of a breach in trust.
– common questions/concerns that come up for couples and counselors at this stage
– boundaries and strategies to avoid doing additional harm.
– how to coach couples to develop a transparency plan
– how to initiate sobriety conversations if addiction is present.
What to Expect for Didactic on 8/13/25:
- Present information about Stabilization stage
- Answer questions from the group
- Conduct role play experiences
- Metaprocess
Pre-Didactic Materials:
WATCH THIS:
Video: Stabilization: https://train.mycounselor.online/courses/mco-residency-in-neuroscience-informed-christian-counseling/lessons/infidelity-protocols/topic/video-1/
READ THESE:
Article Redemptive Separation:
https://mycounselor.app.box.com/file/235692838167?s=zi0yn65ixjdrjin5hfv78wkw1jpb2hw0
Article Therapist-Facing How to Create a Transparency Plan:
https://mycounselor.app.box.com/notes/904499938922
Article Client-Facing How to Create a Transparency Plan:
https://mycounselor.app.box.com/file/1943233597625
Role Play Prompts
Stabilization Prompt:
Setup: The couple reports that since the disclosure, they are completely avoiding each other at home. Bill (participating) says he’s trying to give space. Vicki (injured) says the silence makes her feel abandoned.
Skill Focus:
- Help the couple establish ground rules for basic interaction (emotional, physical, social).
- Validate the disorientation and confusion – and offer predictable structure as a form of safety.
Transparency Plan Prompt:
Setup: Vicki finds herself compulsively checking devices and Bill’s email logs. She hates doing it, but doesn’t know how to feel safe otherwise.
Skill Focus:
- Help Vicki name the fear beneath her actions.
- Communicate to Vicki and Bill that going into investigator mode will not ultimately be helpful, as it blocks opportunities for Bill to be honest – it does not build trust over time.
Upcoming Didactics:
8/20/25: Infidelity Stage 1 Review (bring your questions about didactic materials and/or infidelity cases)
8/27/25: Individual Work with Injured Spouse
9/03/25: Individual Work with Participating Spouse
9/10/25: Process Group