Infidelity: Individual Sessions with Betrayed Spouse
Time: 11:00 am-1:00 pm CT
Outside Study: 1-2 hours
Didactic Presentation: 2 hours
Educator: Sarah Cowan
Description: For this week’s didactic, we will be shifting into the phase of HOW we work with the individual spouses – specifically the betrayed spouse for this week’s training. After disclosure, transparency, and couple stabilization is completed, it is important to separate the couple for a custom set of individual sessions to address individual recovery needs. During the individual work with a betrayed spouse we are focusing on the following goals to accomplish during their session times:
- Grieving, Feeling, and Coregulating with Therapist
- Processing and Integrating the Disclosure into their Reality
- Processing Trauma Responses
- Regaining Personal Safety, Self Care, Resourcing
- Taking Inventory of Impact and Moving Towards Personal Healing
Since most cases of infidelity arise from an avoidant spouse that needs to do a lot of their own growth work, or is an addict who requires sobriety AND recovery, the Injuring Spouse is unable to co-regulate and provide all the care immediately that the Betrayed spouse needs and deserves. Therefore, we balance and split sessions for a time here to provide the co-regulation and healing care that the betrayed spouse needs. In an ideal world, sessions could be prescribed for the next 1-3 months as weekly individual for both and every other week added couples stage 1 stabilization sessions. However, some clients cannot afford that plan, so customizing a personal therapy schedule that your client can sustain where you are prioritizing the individual work through taking turns with a 1x month couple stabilization session could be another appropriate alternate. The reminder here, is that we recommend and lead with what we know works best, and stay flexible and attuned to our client’s realities as we provide customized care. We hope this training helps you walk away feeling more equipped and empowered to move into this next phase of infidelity recovery work with your clients.
The following are pre-didactic materials to watch and read prior to our training. Please come with questions for Q&A time if they arise during your prep time, and we will continue our format of teaching, Q&A, and practice time.
Pre-Didactic Materials:
WATCH THIS:
Video: General Rebuilding Trust After Betrayal (17mins): https://youtu.be/O03af6PHkmg?si=AcG7iOHCR70lYlxJ
Session Videos (Watch at least 60 mins of examples below and any remaining can be used as optional PD training):
First Post Disclosure with Betrayed Spouse – Grieving, Feel it Thru, Reality domain work, Impact Assessment, and Co-Regulating with Sarah (30mins):
https://app.box.com/file/1961369971184
Redemptive Separation, Stabilizing, Self Care and Boundaries w/ Betrayed Spouse & Melissa (Whole session starting at 7:55mins):
https://app.box.com/file/1960442624559?sb=/activity/comments/671989307
Individual work or alliance and individual stabilization needs with Robbin following a disclosure with another therapist (17 mins):
https://app.box.com/file/1961373681589
Double Affair Delayed Therapy Couple & Sarah-second session coregulating Impact letter with Female Client: (23mins)
https://app.box.com/file/1961376440972
Individual with Shaun L. and Betrayed Client Co-Regulating and Psychoed post disclosure work (50mins):
https://app.box.com/file/727506345139
RESOURCES TO READ AND SAVE FOR CLIENTS:
How To Write an Impact Letter: https://app.box.com/notes/1960832063129\
For Spouses of Sexually Addicted Men: https://hopequestgroup.org/store/the-journey-book-one/
Bethesda Healing for Partners Workshops :https://www.bethesdaworkshops.org/for-partners/
Resources for Clients in our Bibliotherapy section of University: https://train.mycounselor.online/courses/mco-residency-in-neuroscience-informed-christian-counseling/lessons/marriage-infidelity-emotional/
